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Janelle Hazell: Single Just Like That

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My name is Janelle Hazell. I am originally from Plainfield, NJ and currently reside in Ft Lauderdale, Fl, enjoying the fun and sun. I enjoy hanging out with friends and family, reading, writing, and discovering new things about myself. Currently, I work in the commercial insurance industry and am looking forward to the rest of my life! I am a new blogger, still learning about all that blogs can do and excited about the possibilities!
Single…Just Like That, is a blog that focuses on being single and everything that comes with it. The Good, The Bad and The Downright UGLY! I am a 30 something year old single woman who couldn’t get over how many stories my friends and I would share that literally had us laughing for hours. I wanted to be able to share these stories in this format, so that the Single Experience could be shared, advice could be given and of course so that people could get a little comic relief at the end of the day. I’m looking for people who are interested in being contributors to the blog and don’t mind putting a little of “their business” out there. Check us out at http://singlejustlikethat.blogspot.com. You can also follow us on twitter at http://twitter.com/singlejlt2011 or like us on facebook

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3 thoughts on “Janelle Hazell: Single Just Like That

  1. Hi Janelle,
    I am single, too. Just like that. I am in my mid forties and I have just begun to consider that I may grow old alone. I have been in love, truly, in my life twice. When I say “in love” I call it mutually in love meaning I loved him and he also loved me.
    The first was my high school sweetheart. We loved passionately for three years in high school and two years of college. Time and distance ended that relationship as he served in the military and I went to college. WE found each other again five years ago. We still speak occasionally. Last year he stopped talking to me as frequently because he divulged to me he was still very much in love with me and it was challenging his marriage. I agreed and ended our weekly phone calls and Starbuck coffee meetings.
    The second love of my life was a man who picked me up when I was at my lowest. I had spent time in my mid twenties chasing after another man who claimed he cared for me, but in reality did not love me or himself for that matter. He tore down my self-esteem and I behaved in ways that I cringe to think about and am ashamed to stroke the letters of the keyboard and share. My second love watched as he hurt me over and over from a distance. When I became pregnant with my son, he dropped me and my second love picked me up. He married me and raised my son as his own.
    I remember when we first got together I was very grateful and did not ever want him to leave me. I remember getting into a verbal tit-for-tat with a woman who had her sights on my second love. That man assured me that I never had to address a woman about him. He told me that he loved me and wanted only me and when he no longer felt that way he would let me know. He loved my son and me faithfully until his untimely death 12 years ago.
    So it has been 12 years since I have had a real companion. I have dated and once since, I “thought” I was in love. The man manipulated my every good intention. In all his actions, we were a couple, but he gave me excuse after excuse why he was not really ready to settle down. He treated me like I was his woman and so I ignored his words. He even behaved a little jealous at times when I would be in the company of other men. I figured he was dating others but he kept those things very discrete. He answered my call every time I dialed his number. We spent time in my home and in his. We had a perfect companionship. I kept things in perspective and did not give him my body though I craved being under the weight of his strong arms and he pressured me hard. After 8 months, I gave in and we had beautiful sex that drove me wild. Eventually he was not as discrete when he was in the company of other women. He did not answer my call every time and he reminded me constantly that we were not dating. I was crushed. We began to fight like we were dating and I even “caught” him with another woman and acted like I had lost my mind. He still was not ready to completely let me go. I had become so much a part of his life that he was not willing to give up all the perks. I shopped for his groceries, cooked for him and helped him with his business. I came to realize that this man wanted all of the advantages of a relationship without any commitments.
    As I dug into his affairs with other women, they all had the same story to share with me about him. They all felt special though he was very forthright in the beginning. His actions did not match his words. He treats you like a girlfriend though he tells you he is not ready for one. You spend your time trying to convince him you are the right one. You are convinced you can change his mind. YOU are the one.
    Even after I knew the game, I kept playing for a while. Part of the time I was in denial, but a great deal of the time, I just did not want to be alone so I accepted the little time he gave me. He had trained me. And the more I settled, the less time I got of him. It was madness.
    So… I finally got off that roller coaster and now I am single again… just like that. I learned a lot about myself. I was not in love. I was vulnerable. Now I am taking my time. I have been on a series of dates. I am guarded. I have not had sex in more than a year. I figure when I do, I will probably rape the poor man. I am single and ready for a lifetime love affair with a HUSBAND. I will not settle but I will compromise. I am very attractive and I have a great job. I am hopeful I will find someone, but I have to admit, I am getting scared.
    So, why am I writing all this. I hope my experiences can help someone else and I hope that this blog can help me by reading someone else’s story. I like it because of the anonimity.

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